we'll · hope · it's · not · for · nothing · at · all.

D,
stop trying so hard baby girl just,
don't try so hard.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

My home boy told me his biggest secret today. He has a two week old relationship with another girl. The first thing I did was arm slap him silly and after I was partially done he said I should hear him out.

So he goes on to say how he likes the presence of the new girl and how she makes him feel alive again. He asks me after if it was possible for someone to love two people at a time. I find this question very distasteful and this would be the second time I was posted a question of such manner from, such a surprise, the same gender.

I told him my honest opinion, that he's screwing up he's four year relationship for some cheap slut (I have my reasons for proclaiming her so) so that he could feel alive again. The way I see it, the misguided expectation of love, that it will always make your heart skip a beat or give you butterflies, has to be abolished. Like any other thing in our lives, things change and grow. You may not get the same kinda feeling you did for the person after years of being with them but you grow into a force that is too strong to stay apart from. Love manifests itself into something more that attraction.

Adding to that, I do not believe that the heart has the ability to share love. You cannot love two people at one time you either love one more than the other. If you love the girl be with her wholeheartedly else put her out of her misery and let her go. The way I see it, it's better to let go knowing the pain you created is for the betterment of both parties involved, rather than hang on to something you already know is failing. It's whether you're man enough to inflict the pain. but hey if you're not, at least you know one thing's for sure, misery does love company.

My bestfriend told me today that I don't seem okay and went on to ask if there was anything the matter. Truth be told, I am okay. I realize how reserve I get sometimes that I'm sorta boring by default. I'm always surrounded by loud people that people on the outside looking in would have the preconceived notion that I am too, loud. But I'm not. I'm just me, mellow and quiet unless you open up a topic of discussion pertaining to my interest like books, or photography, or music or serious stuff people wouldn't want to talk about because that would require the use of their grey matter. Otherwise I am told, I am a very admirable listener. She also added that she misses the me that is not in this current state. And I think to myself, but this is the real me.

After the break up with the former paramour, the supplier of my modest swatch watch collection, I've not been wearing a watch. The passing of time and the thought of idling I'm not too bothered about anymore. I don't know why I was so obsessed with making every minute productive. Maybe cause of the guilty line, 'minutes of your life you'd never get back'. True, but then again minutes of your life you're not making up stuff to do in your head.

I am feeling better thanks for asking.